Lately I have come to realize how incredibly happy I am. I have an awesome husband who is truly a wonderful, joyful father. He cooks, he cleans, he plays with our baby girls and most of all, he loves us. A lot. Steve is gone for three weeks to some brutal training. He can't see us or call or email or text or anything. All he could talk about before he left is how much he was going to miss us. I would never have said it was possible but I love him more now that we have our daughters. There is just something about watching a grown man make silly faces to a baby and talk to her in a high-pitched voice.
I have two beautiful daughters who are such joys to us. Amelia is growing so big and smiling at us when we make faces at her. She likes to snuggle with her Mama and she wrinkles her tiny forehead in a way that makes my heart melt. I am so lucky to be her Mama. And my little Claire! She has the biggest eyes and if I let her, she would lay on my chest and stare into my eyes all day and night. When she looks at me like that, I know that she knows that she is mine and I am hers. She has recently started smiling too. I could not ask for two more wonderful little people and I truly enjoy every day that I get to watch them grow and love them.
I feel so lucky that I am able to stay at home with our girls. They are 12 weeks old now which is about the longest maternity leave that anyone gets. I can't imagine packing my girls off to daycare every morning. I think we would have to get up by 4am to make it there by 8:00. Instead we get to spend lazy mornings laying in bed, singing songs and cuddling. I wish every mom could stay home with her babies if she wanted to. I would make the choice again and again. We have definitely had to go without some things since I stopped working but nothing important.
In addition to all this, we have a nice home that is warm in the winter and cool in the summer. We have food in our pantry and clothes in our closets. We have families that love us and care for our girls so much that they beg us to let them babysit. Just for a little while. The other day, Amelia was crying and I was making her bottle and telling her "Its not that bad! You have a mama and a daddy that love you and a nice sister. You are about to have food in your tummy and there is more anytime you want it." And I got kind of choked up thinking, I can't imagine looking at my crying child and knowing I don't have any food for her. It is truly a tragedy that when we have so much, there are children that go to bed hungry at night. Its one of those things that I've always known but I guess you feel it differently when you have children of your own. Lots of things to think about...