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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Toddlers

I totally stole this from a friend's blog but I think it goes double for twins:

Why life with (two!) toddlers is like a Frat Party:

1. THERE ARE HALF-FULL, BRIGHTLY-COLORED PLASTIC CUPS ON THE FLOOR IN EVERY ROOM. THREE ARE IN THE BATHTUB.

2. THERE'S ALWAYS THAT ONE GIRL, 

BAWLING HER EYES OUT IN A CORNER.

 

3. IT'S BEST NOT TO ASSUME THAT THE PERSON CLOSEST TO YOU HAS ANY CONTROL OVER THEIR DIGESTIVE FUNCTION.

4. YOU SNEAK OFF TO THE BATHROOM KNOWING THAT AS SOON AS YOU SIT DOWN, SOMEONE'S GOING TO START BANGING ON THE DOOR.


5. PROBABLY 80% OF THE STAINS ON THE 

FURNITURE CONTAIN DNA.

6. YOU'VE GOT SOMEONE IN YOUR FACE AT 

3 A.M. LOOKING FOR A DRINK.

7. THERE'S DEFINITELY GOING TO BE A FIGHT.


8. YOU'RE NOT SURE WHETHER ANYTHING YOU'RE DOING IS RIGHT, YOU JUST HOPE IT WON'T GET YOU ARRESTED.


9. THERE ARE CRUMPLED-UP UNDERPANTS
 EVERYWHERE.

10. YOU WAKE UP WONDERING EXACTLY HOW AND WHEN THE PERSON IN BED WITH YOU GOT THERE.

11. YOU HAVE A TV THEME SONG STUCK IN YOUR HEAD, AND WHEN YOU START SINGING IT EVERYONE JOINS IN. 

12.
 SOMETIME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT SOMEONE SLURS, "I WANT MY MOMMY." 

13.
 YOU ARE SUBJECTED TO THE SAME STORY 20 TIMES. 

14. YOU REALIZE YOU ARE THE ONE TELLING 
THE SAME STORY 20 TIMES. 

15. YOU LIE TO YOUR PARENTS ABOUT WHAT'S 
GOING ON AT YOUR PLACE.

16. AT LEAST ONE PERSON IS LYING ON THE FLOOR, EITHER FACE UP OR FACE DOWN, SINGING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS

17. OFTEN, FOR NO REASON, SOMEONE LAUGHS UNCONTROLLABLY FOR MINUTES ON END.

18. PEOPLE CAN'T CLIMB THE STAIRS 
WITHOUT USING THEIR HANDS.

19. NO ONE WALKS IN A STRAIGHT LINE 
AND THEY RANDOMLY FALL DOWN.

20.
 THERE ARE ALWAYS FIGHTS THAT NEED TO BE BROKEN UP. AND ARE IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED BY "I LOVE YOU, BRO."

21. TRY AS YOU MIGHT, YOU CANNOT GET PEOPLE TO STOP DANCING ON THE FURNITURE.
 
22. SPINNING AROUND AND FLAPPING YOUR 
ARMS COUNTS AS DANCING.

23. AT LEAST ONE PERSON WILL BE DANCING 
AROUND TO IMAGINARY MUSIC.

24. AT ANY TIME THERE IS A CHANCE OF SOMEONE RUNNING NUDE THROUGH THE HOUSE.
 

25. WHEN THE INSIDE GETS TOO BAD, JUST HEAD OUTSIDE!

 

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